Since the beginning of time, cheese-lovers have been agonising over the ancient art of the cheeseboard. To Brie, or not Brie, that is the question. Or make merry with a bunch of grapes? Is this the place that launched a thousand Edams? So many questions. So little time in the supermarket!

Fear not dear friends. We know what to do! Follow these simple tips and you’ll never be outsmarted on the cheese front.

1. First and foremost, the cheeseboard itself should be wooden. Clean, scrubbed wood. Not glass, not plastic. Wood.

2. You should serve it with ONE cheese knife and give people a plate, their own small knife, and a napkin. No dangly cheese knife holders. They are silly.

3. Aim to serve THREE cheeses. If you spot something a bit unusual in the cheese cabinet– we’ll allow you to have four. OK, five. Tops.

4. Every good cheeseboard should have GOOD CHEDDAR. Well, we are British. Try Asda’s Chosen by you Extra Mature Cheddar. Don’t serve it in the packet. Cut a small wedge, you can always go back for more.

5. A good creamy, mellow soft cheese, like Brie, is up there with the food of Gods. We love Asda’s Extra special St Endellion Cornish Brie.

6. We never get down when there’s some blue cheese on the table. Try authentic Italian Galbani Dolcelatte – cream mixed with tang. Yum!

7. Take a tall, decorative jug and pop some Tomato and Basil Twists in it.

8. Pop a pack of Garlic and Parsley Swirls on a plate.

9. Spoon some gentle chutney into a small dipping bowl. We like Asda’s Extra Special Caramelised Onion chutney.

10. Never forget the butter. Cut a fresh, cold pack in half and serve on a separate plate with a butter knife.

You don’t have to, but you could put a small bunch of washed and dried red grapes on the board and/or celery.

That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less.